Developmental Milestones: Is My Child Developing on Track? A Better Way to Know

The Problem With How We Talk About Developmental Milestones and Child Development

Right now, most doctors and parents think about child development in just two ways:

1. Typical - Your child is fine

2. Delayed - Your child needs help

This sounds simple. But it leaves out a lot of kids who don't fit neatly into these two boxes.

Baby at their Well Child visit.

Developmental Milestone Interpretation: What Happens When We Only Have Two Choices

When you ask your care team, "How are they progressing in their developmental milestones? Is my child developing okay?" they often say one of these things:

• "They're fine. Don't worry."

• "Let's wait and see."

• "They need therapy right away."

But what if your child is somewhere in the middle? What if they're a little behind but catching up? What if they're developing differently but not delayed?

The "wait and see" approach can hurt kids. Here's why:

• Some kids DO need to wait - they just need a little more time

• Other kids CANNOT wait - they need help now, or they'll fall further behind

• Some kids are developing in their own way - they're not delayed, just different

When we use the same advice ("wait and see") for all three types of kids, some get help too late.

A Better Way: Four Types of Development

After working with thousands of families, we created a clearer system with four categories instead of two:

1. Typical - Keep Watching

What it means: Your child is meeting milestones on time or close to it.

What to do: Keep watching and celebrating! Check in at regular well-visits.

Example: Maya is 10 months old. She pulls herself up to stand, says "mama" and "dada," and plays peek-a-boo. She's right on track.

2. Delayed + Wait - Watch Closely and Practice

What it means: Your child is a little behind, but they're making progress. New skills are showing up.

What to do:

• Give them more chances to practice

• Check again in 4-6 weeks

• Watch for progress, not perfection

Example: Liam is 15 months old and isn't walking yet. But he's cruising along furniture, standing alone for a few seconds, and trying to take steps. He's behind, but he's learning. We watch and help him practice.

Signs they're in this category:

• Missing 1-2 milestones

• You can see new skills starting to appear

• They respond when you practice with them

• They're making slow but steady progress

3. Delayed + Go - Get Help Now

What it means: Your child is behind AND not making progress, or falling further behind.

What to do:

• Get an evaluation right away

• Don't wait to see if they "catch up"

• Early help makes a huge difference

Example: Emma is 18 months old with no words. She wasn't babbling at 12 months either. She's not making progress in communication. She needs speech therapy now.

Signs they're in this category:

• Missing several milestones across different areas

• Not making progress over 4-8 weeks

• Losing skills they used to have

• Not responding when you try to help them practice

Important: You don't need your doctor's permission to get help. You can call your state's early intervention program yourself. It's free or low-cost for kids under 3.

Or, if you'd like support figuring out your next steps: We offer parent coaching where we listen to your specific concerns, help you figure out what makes sense for YOUR child, and cheer you on as you take action. You're not alone in this.

4. Different + Go - Get Specialized Support

What it means: Your child is developing in their own way. They might have autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, or another diagnosis. They're not "delayed" - they're following a different path.

What to do:

• Find specialists who understand your child's specific needs

• Connect with other families who have similar experiences

• Focus on helping your child reach THEIR potential, not someone else's timeline

Example: Noah has Down syndrome. He hit some milestones late, some on time, and some in a different order than typical kids. He needs therapies designed for kids with Down syndrome, not just "delayed" kids.

This category honors that:

• Different doesn't mean broken

• Your child may need lifelong support, and that's okay

• The goal is progress for THEM, not comparing them to other kids

How to Know Which Category Your Child Is In

Ask Yourself These Questions:

1. Is my child meeting most milestones?

• Yes → Typical

• Missing 1-2 milestones → Keep reading

• Missing many milestones → Keep reading

2. Over the past month, have I seen new skills starting?

• Yes, definitely → Delayed + Wait

• Not really, things seem stuck → Delayed + Go

3. Does my child have a diagnosis (autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, etc.)?

• Yes → Different + Go

• No → Look at progress

4. When I practice activities with my child, do they respond and improve?

• Yes → Delayed + Wait

• No, or very little → Delayed + Go

Concerns That Often Mean "Get Help Now" (Delayed + Go or Different + Go)

Call early intervention if your child:

Motor (Movement):

• Can't turn their head to both sides

• Very stiff or very floppy

• Uses only one side of their body

• Not sitting by 9 months, not crawling by 10 months, or not walking by 18 months

Communication:

• Not babbling by 12 months

• No words by 18 months

• Lost words or skills they used to have

• Doesn't respond to their name by 12 months

Social:

• Very limited eye contact

• Not interested in other people or kids

• Does the same movements over and over (hand flapping, spinning)

• Extreme reactions to sounds, textures, or changes

Feeding:

• Can't eat any solid foods by 12 months

• Chokes or gags a lot

• Only eats fewer than 10 different foods

• Losing weight or not gaining

Why This Matters for Your Child

It Gives You Clear Next Steps

Instead of vague "wait and see," you know exactly what to do:

• Typical → Keep watching, you're doing great

• Delayed + Wait → Practice at home, check again soon

• Delayed + Go → Get evaluation and help now

• Different + Go → Find specialized support

It Prevents Your Child From Falling Further Behind

The brain learns fastest from birth to age 3. If your child needs help, getting it early makes a huge difference. Waiting can mean:

• Missing the window when their brain learns easiest

• Bigger delays that are harder to fix later

• More therapy needed down the road

It Honors That All Kids Are Different

Some kids need more time. Some kids need help now. Some kids will always develop differently. All of these are okay - they just need different types of support.

It Puts You in Charge

You know your child best. This framework helps you:

• Trust your gut when something feels off

• Know when waiting is okay vs. when action is needed

• Speak up for your child with confidence

What to Do Right Now

If Your Child Seems Typical:

✓ Celebrate! You're doing great.

✓ Keep watching milestones at each well-visit.

✓ Trust yourself if concerns come up later.

If Your Child Might Be "Delayed + Wait":

✓ Pick 1-2 skills to practice daily

✓ Mark your calendar for 4-6 weeks from now

✓ Check if you see progress

✓ If no progress, move to "Delayed + Go"

If Your Child Might Be "Delayed + Go":

✓ Call your state's early intervention program (Google "[your state] early intervention")

✓ Ask your care team for referrals to specialists

✓ You can also call directly: speech therapy, occupational therapy, or physical therapy clinics

✓ Don't wait for permission - trust your instincts

✓ Want help figuring out your next steps? We offer parent coaching to talk through your specific concerns and support you as you decide what's right for your child

If Your Child Is "Different + Go":

✓ Find specialists who have experience with your child's specific diagnosis

✓ Connect with parent support groups

✓ Focus on YOUR child's progress, not comparisons

✓ Remember: different is not less

Questions to Ask Your Care Team

Bring these questions to your next appointment:

1. "Which milestones is my child missing?"

2. "Have you seen progress since our last visit?"

3. "Should we wait and watch, or should we get an evaluation now?"

4. "What would you do if this were your child?"

5. "Can you refer us to early intervention or a specialist?"

Remember: You can also call early intervention yourself. You don't need a referral.

Trust Yourself

You are the expert on your child. If something doesn't feel right, it's okay to:

• Get a second opinion

• Call early intervention yourself

• Push back on "wait and see" if you're worried

Waiting is sometimes the right choice. But it's not ALWAYS the right choice.

This framework helps you tell the difference.

The Bottom Line

Child development isn't just "typical" or "delayed." There are kids who:

• Need a little more time (Delayed + Wait)

• Need help right now (Delayed + Go)

• Are developing in their own beautiful way (Different + Go)

All of these kids deserve the right support at the right time.

You don't have to guess. You don't have to wait and worry.

This framework gives you the power to act - or to wait - with confidence.

Your child is counting on you to be their voice. You've got this.

Resources

Need someone to talk through your concerns?

• We offer parent coaching where we listen to YOUR specific situation

• Help you figure out the next steps that feel right for you

• Cheer you on and offer support along the way

• No judgment, just guidance from therapists who've worked with thousands of families

Find your state's early intervention program:

• Google "[Your State] early intervention" or "Part C early intervention"

• Or call: 1-800-695-0285 (national hotline)

CDC Milestone Tracker App:

• Free app to track your child's development

• Gives you tips for activities at each age

When to call:

• If you have any concerns - trust your gut

• Early intervention is free or low-cost for kids under 3

• You do NOT need a doctor's referral in most states

Feeling Overwhelmed? Needing Support? You're Not Alone

We believe parents should feel empowered, not overwhelmed. If you've got questions or want to learn more:

• Leave a comment—we'd love to hear from you!

• Join our Facebook Subscribers Group for just $0.99/month to access expert Q&As and exclusive content

• Follow us on Instagram for helpful tips and real-life examples

• Check out our YouTube channel for bite-sized videos packed with practical strategies and longer tutorials where we provide you important information

• Listen to our Walkin' The Talk Podcast on iTunes or Spotify

And remember, early support isn't just intervention—it's prevention, empowerment, and connection. And it's never too early to be curious, ask questions, and seek guidance. We're here for you, every step of the way. 🍼👣✨

With heart,

The NewDay Child Coaching Team

Rachel Lynn, CCC-SLP: Communication and Swallowing/Feeding Guide 🩷

Dr. Amber Michelle, PT: Physical Development Guide 💚

Amanda Rae, OT: Fine Motor, Sensorimotor, Sensory/Feeding Guide 💛

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