Functional Language: Why Naming What Your Child Needs, Likes, and Wants Matters More Than Pre-Academics (like ABC's and 123's)

Blocks spelling the word "play".

Walk into any toy store, browse the children’s book aisle, or scroll through online shopping, and you’ll see it—brightly colored packaging promising to teach your child their ABC's, 123's, colors, and shapes. The message is clear: these are the skills young children should be learning first. But as child development experts, we respectfully disagree.

For most young children, especially those who are not yet talking, focusing on functional language—words that help them communicate their needs, wants, and preferences—is far more valuable than memorizing letters or counting to ten.

Functional Language: Why Naming What Your Child Needs, Likes, and Wants Matters More Than Pre-Academics (like ABC's and 123's)...So, what is Functional Language?

Functional language includes words that help your child interact with their world and the people in it. Think about the words you use every day: asking for things, making choices, expressing needs, getting someone’s attention. These words serve a purpose. For young children, especially those just beginning to communicate, functional words might include:

• More (asking for another turn, another bite)

• Milk (or another preferred drink/food)

• Help (asking for assistance)

• Stop (gaining control over their environment)

• Play (requesting an activity)

• Music (asking for their favorite songs)

These words empower your child to participate in their daily life. They help decrease frustration, encourage independence, and create meaningful interactions between you and your little one.

Why Pre-Academic Skills Can Wait

There is plenty of time for your child to learn numbers, colors, and letters. Those skills will come, especially if your child is in an environment rich in conversation, books, and play. However, if a child is struggling to express themselves, being able to point to a red ball or identify the letter "B" won’t help them ask for what they need.

That being said—if your child naturally gravitates toward numbers, letters, or shapes, lean into their interests! We never want to discourage curiosity. And for some children, they seem to enjoy the consistency that numbers and letters give them. If that reflects your child, go for it! But for most children who aren’t yet communicating, functional language is a better bet, in encouraging them to communicate with you.

What Has Worked for You?

Every child is different, and every family’s journey is unique. If you’re just beginning to navigate this stage of development, we’d love to hear from you! What words have been most useful for your child? If you're new to this approach, was this post helpful? Let’s chat in the comments!

Have you enjoyed reading this post about Functional Language: Why Naming What Your Child Needs, Likes, and Wants Matters More Than Pre-Academics (like ABC's and 123's)? If so, let us know in the comments.

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And remember, early support isn’t just intervention—it’s prevention, empowerment, and connection. And it’s never too early to be curious, ask questions, and seek guidance. We’re here for you, every step of the way. 🍼👣✨

With heart,

The NewDay Child Coaching Team

Rachel Lynn: Communication and Swallowing/Feeding Guide 🩷

Amber Michelle: Physical Development Guide 💚

Amanda Rae: Fine Motor, Sensorimotor, Sensory/Feeding Guide 💛

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A Note on Content Creation

The ideas, insights, frameworks, and expertise shared in this post are entirely my own — rooted in years of real experience working with families and the work we do every day at NewDay Child Coaching. AI tools assisted with formatting, structure, and SEO optimization to help this content reach the families who need it most. The heart of it? The concepts, knowledge, and original thought are the sole intellectual property of Rachel May and NewDay Child Coaching.