Navigating Toddler Behavior: A Guide for Parents
- NewDayChildCoaching
- Oct 20, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 2
Attention
Picture this: you’ve just plopped down in your favorite comfy chair, sipping a hot cup of coffee. In the near distance, you watch your five-year-old and toddler playing dolls together. You smile to yourself and think—Yay! This day is finally here! My kids can happily play together.
You take another sip of coffee and feel that rare moment of calm… until you see your toddler lean back, raise her open palm, and smack her sister across the face.
Wait, what?!
Before you can even process it, your five-year-old blinks back tears of shock and pain—then the wailing begins. You slam your coffee down, your heart races. You leap up and rush over, mind spinning—Why is this happening?
Instinctively, you scoop up your toddler to stop her from striking again. You say, “No! We don’t hit others!” But before the words are fully out, your toddler swats at you too!
WAIT.
Let’s rewind. Let’s go back to that first shocking moment: your toddler slapping her sister. What do you think would have happened if, instead of scooping up your toddler, you went straight to your five-year-old and wrapped her in a hug? What if you gave all your attention to comforting the child who was hurt?
Could it be that your toddler was seeking attention—and found that hitting got a big reaction? What did your toddler learn when she got your full focus, even though it was for something negative?
Kids Learn Fast—Especially About Attention
Toddlers don’t fully understand “right” and “wrong” yet—but they do understand attention. And to a toddler, all attention counts.
When you react to unwanted behavior by putting your focus on the child who hit, you’re actually rewarding that behavior with what they craved: your time, your eyes, your words.
Next time, try this:
First, give your attention to the victim.
Comfort your older child—“I see you’re hurt. I’m right here.”
Let your toddler see: hitting doesn’t win them the spotlight.
Later, when your toddler plays gently or shares, that’s when you scoop them up with big smiles and say, “I love how kind you are to your sister!”
Pay Attention to Where You Pay Attention
Parenting toddlers isn’t about ignoring misbehavior—it’s about noticing where your focus goes first. When we teach our kids that kindness and gentle play earn our attention, they learn what to repeat.
What do you think? Have you noticed this pattern in your own home? Share your stories below—your insight might just help another parent who’s sitting with cold coffee and two kids learning how to be loving siblings.
Understanding Toddler Emotions
Toddlers are still learning to navigate their feelings. They may not have the words to express themselves yet. This can lead to frustration and, sometimes, physical expressions of that frustration.
When your toddler feels overwhelmed, they might hit or push. It’s essential to recognize that these behaviors are often cries for help. They need guidance on how to express their feelings appropriately.
Strategies for Managing Toddler Behavior
Here are some gentle strategies to help manage your toddler's behavior:
Model Appropriate Behavior: Show your child how to express feelings verbally. Use phrases like, “I feel sad when…” or “I’m angry because…”. This helps them learn to articulate their emotions.
Create a Safe Space: Designate a calm area where your child can go when they feel overwhelmed. This space can be filled with soft toys, books, or calming visuals.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate the moments when your toddler plays nicely or shares. Your praise reinforces good behavior and encourages them to repeat it.
Teach Problem-Solving: When conflicts arise, guide your child through resolving them. Ask questions like, “How can we fix this?” This empowers them to think critically and develop solutions.
Stay Calm: Your reaction sets the tone. If you remain calm, it helps your child feel secure. They’ll learn to mirror your responses in challenging situations.
Feeling Overwhelmed? Needing Support? You’re Not Alone
We believe parents should feel empowered, not overwhelmed. If you’ve got questions or want to learn more:
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With heart,
The NewDay Child Coaching Team
Rachel Lynn: Communication and Swallowing/Feeding Guide 🩷
Amber Michelle: Physical Development Guide 💚
Amanda Rae: Fine Motor, Sensorimotor, Sensory/Feeding Guide 💛
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A Note on Content Creation
The ideas, insights, frameworks, and expertise shared in this post are entirely my own — rooted in years of real experience working with families and the work we do every day at NewDay Child Coaching. AI tools assisted with formatting, structure, and SEO optimization to help this content reach the families who need it most. The heart of it? The concepts, knowledge, and original thought are the sole intellectual property of Rachel May and NewDay Child Coaching.
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