"Hey! My kid spins, rocks, hums...What can I do?": Reframing Stimming: Understanding Autistic Behavior Through a Sensory Lens

Reframing Stimming

When we talk about autism, one of the first behaviors people often notice or mention is “stimming.” Short for self-stimulatory behavior, stimming can look like hand-flapping, rocking, humming, pacing, spinning, tapping, looking at the world from the corners of the eyes or even repeating certain words or sounds. While many see it as something that needs to be stopped or managed, we invite you to reframe the way you see stimming—not as a problem, but as a window into a person's sensory and emotional world.

Little girl looking at something from the corner of her eyes. Maybe this feels good to her eye muscles, maybe she enjoys how the world looks from this perspective. Maybe it's both?

Reframing Stimming

What If Stimming Isn’t the Problem?

Instead of asking “How do I stop this?”, a more supportive question might be:“What is this telling me about how this person is experiencing their world?”

Stimming isn’t “bad” or “wrong.” It’s a communication tool. It may be a way for an Autistic person to express joy, excitement, or focus. Other times, it’s a way to self-soothe, regulate, or gain a sense of control when the world feels overwhelming. Additionally, it may just feel good!

Imagine this: You’re at a crowded concert. The lights are flashing, the music is loud, people are brushing against you, and it’s hard to find your balance. You might start swaying, rubbing your arms, or humming just to ground yourself. That’s not so different from what a child might be doing when they rock, flap, or tap.

Sensory Profiles Shape How We All Engage With the World

Every person—Autistic or not—has a unique sensory profile. That means some people may seek out certain sensations (like spinning, bouncing, or listening to loud music), while others may be more sensitive and want to avoid them (like bright lights, scratchy clothes, or certain smells). Or, you can have combinations of preferences, and these can change on your mood or your surroundings.

For Autistic individuals, these sensory experiences are often turned way up or way down or they have difficulty sensing anything at all. A seemingly ordinary environment for the person that experiences a heightened sense of the world— buzzing light, an echo in a gym, or even a strong perfume—can be overstimulating or even painful.

That’s why it’s so important to recognize stimming not as something to eliminate, but as a cue. It could be a sign that a child is:

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Needing input to feel grounded

• Communicating a sensory need or discomfort

• Expressing joy or excitement

What Can We Do Instead?

Start with observation, curiosity, and compassion.

If you notice a stim, ask yourself:

• Is this stim helping them feel calm or more in control?

• Is it happening in a specific environment or during certain activities?

• Could it be a response to stress, excitement, or sensory overload?

Rather than focusing on changing the child, we can ask:“What can I change in the environment to support regulation?”

Here are some real-life examples:

• Music as a calming tool: If your child loves certain songs, consider softly playing those in the background when they seem dysregulated. It can shift their nervous system gently back toward calm.

• Adjusting lighting or sound: Fluorescent lights, sudden noises, or echoes can be distressing. Dimming lights or using noise-canceling headphones might reduce the need to stim for comfort.

• Offering sensory alternatives: If your child seeks movement, build in time for swinging, bouncing, or jumping. If they love touch, consider soft fabrics or fidget toys that satisfy their needs in a soothing way.

• Allowing stims: Sometimes, the best support is simply allowing stimming to happen without judgment.

Perception Comes Through the Senses

Our understanding of the world is built through what we see, hear, touch, smell, taste, and feel in our bodies. These "felt senses" are the foundation for how we interpret and navigate life. If the world feels chaotic, painful, or confusing, it makes sense that we’d develop ways—like stimming—to find safety, comfort, or clarity.

When we help a child better integrate and tolerate the world around them, we create space for them to not just survive—but to thrive.

Reframing Stimming Leads to Connection

By shifting from “how do I stop this behavior?” to “what does this tell me about their experience?”, we move from control to connection. We create opportunities for empathy, understanding, and growth—not just for the child, but for ourselves, too.

Let’s embrace stimming for what it often is: a brilliant, adaptive, and deeply human way to engage with the world.

Share your thoughts about our post: Reframing Stimming: Understanding Autistic Behavior Through a Sensory Lens with us. Let us know in the comments below!

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And remember, early support isn’t just intervention—it’s prevention, empowerment, and connection. And it’s never too early to be curious, ask questions, and seek guidance. We’re here for you, every step of the way. 🍼👣✨

With heart,

The NewDay Child Coaching Team

Rachel Lynn: Communication and Swallowing/Feeding Guide

Amber Michelle: Physical Development Guide

Amanda Rae: Fine Motor, Sensorimotor, Sensory/Feeding Guide

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