Teaching Kids (and Ourselves) to Pause Before Reacting

Have you ever found yourself reacting to a stressful situation without thinking, only to regret it later? Maybe you snapped at a loved one, sent a text you wish you could take back, or made a rash decision in the heat of the moment. As adults, we’ve all been there. Now, imagine how often this happens to young children who are still learning to manage their emotions and navigate social situations.

Boy practicing deep breathing from his diaphragm.

At NewDay Child Coaching, we believe that helping kids develop self-regulation skills early on sets them up for success in life. When a child is dysregulated—whether frustrated, overwhelmed, or caught off guard—their instinctive reactions might include hitting, biting, yelling, or crying. While young children may not fully grasp the concept of regret, they can begin to understand that their actions have consequences. That’s why we love using the simple self-regulation strategy "Stop. Breathe. Make a Smart Choice."

Teaching Kids (and Ourselves) to Pause Before Reacting

How It Works

This three-step strategy gives children a concrete way to pause before reacting. Using simple language and gestures can help reinforce the practice:

1. Stop. 🛑 (Hold up a hand like a stop sign.)

   • This signals a pause, giving the child a moment to halt their automatic response.

2. Breathe. 🌬️ (Point to the chest and take a big breath in and out.)

   • Deep breathing helps calm the nervous system, making it easier to think clearly.

3. Make a Smart Choice. 🤔 (Point to the head to encourage thinking.)

   • Instead of reacting impulsively, the child considers what to do next.

Real-Life Example

Imagine your child is playing with a favorite toy when another child suddenly grabs it away. The initial impulse might be to snatch it back, push, or even bite. But if your child has practiced "Stop. Breathe. Make a Smart Choice," they might instead:

• Tell the other child, “That’s mine. Please give it back.”

• Walk away and find another toy.

• Ask an adult for help.

This small shift—from an automatic reaction to a thoughtful response—builds emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills that will serve them for life.

It’s Not Just for Kids!

The beauty of this strategy? It’s just as helpful for us as adults. How often do we react to stress, frustration, or overwhelm instead of pausing to think things through? The next time you feel a knee-jerk reaction rising, try using Stop. Breathe. Make a Smart Choice. for yourself. You might be surprised at how it helps you handle situations with more clarity and control.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!

Did you enjoy reading this post: Teaching Kids (and Ourselves) to Pause Before Reacting?

Have you tried this strategy with your child—or even yourself? Let us know in the comments!

Feeling Overwhelmed? Needing Support? You’re Not Alone

We believe parents should feel empowered, not overwhelmed. If you’ve got questions or want to learn more:

• Leave a comment—we’d love to hear from you!

• Join our Facebook Subscribers Group for just $0.99/month to access expert Q&As and exclusive content

• Follow us on Instagram for helpful tips and real-life examples

• Check out our YouTube channel for bite-sized videos packed with practical strategies and longer tutorials where we provide you important information

  
  

And remember, early support isn’t just intervention—it’s prevention, empowerment, and connection. And it’s never too early to be curious, ask questions, and seek guidance. We’re here for you, every step of the way. 🍼👣✨

With heart,

The NewDay Child Coaching Team

Rachel Lynn: Communication and Swallowing/Feeding Guide 🩷

Amber Michelle: Physical Development Guide 💚

Amanda Rae: Fine Motor, Sensorimotor, Sensory/Feeding Guide 💛

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